Often I look around at the scientists around me, at one of the best public research institutions in the nation. While one or two of them seem happy, so many of them seem stressed and anxious. What does it take to feel like a successful scientist? I see Primary Investigators that push their graduate students and post-docs past breaking point for the next Nature paper. I see researchers stay late in the lab when they have partners and children at home. I see people in tears over yet another experimental failure.
I myself feel like I am just keeping my head above water. I can see some ahead of me swimming with sure easy strokes, but so often it feels like a struggle just to get through the day. I feel like I’ve studied my whole life for this job and I’m still not good at it. Failed experiments, slow data, rejected fellowship applications. I just never feel like I’m any good at what I do. I look around me, and I don’t think that I’m the only one who feels that way.
Next month I am starting a Masters in Public Health, part-time by correspondence. One day I want to have a job that I enjoy, in which I feel competent and successful.
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