I am getting more confident in using our DSLR camera, however I could never find the time to sit down and read about how to control all those manual settings. So when I saw that my favourite photography studio, Les Petits Filous, was running an English-language photography course, I jumped at the opportunity. I learnt a lot, and had lots of practise taking photos of ‘boring’ subjects under different conditions, in order to start to understand the different ways one can control the light that enters the camera.

We learned how altering the white balance can change the temperature of the light:

Canon EOS 50D
Sigma 18-250mm f3.5-6.3
31mm ISO 800 f/4.5 1/200

We learned how to change the aperture to adjust the depth-of-field:

Canon EOS 50D
Canon EF 50mm f/1.4 USM
50mm ISO 400 f/1.4 1/8000; 50mm ISO 400 f/22 1/20

We learned to over- or under-expose to emphasise different components of the frame in high contrast situations:

Canon EOS 50D
Canon EF 50mm f/1.4 USM
50mm ISO 400 f/1.6 1/8000; 50mm ISO 400 f/22 1/640

We also practised changing our composition and orientation in order to take more a flattering portrait:

Canon EOS 50D
Canon EF 50mm f/1.4 USM
50mm ISO 100 f/4.5 1/500; 50mm ISO 100 f/3.2 1/500

Today I grabbed my camera to see if I could practise some of the skills that I had learnt. It was certainly difficult to keep one eye on the exposure levels, one eye on a boisterous toddler, a thumb on the aperture, and an index finger on the shutter speed. I must admit that I was very tempted to turn that dial back to ‘auto’, but I persisted in my efforts, and in amongst many blurry, over-exposed, and fuzzy shots, I managed to capture these two moments:

In early May, Hayden came home from crèche with little rivets of dirt caked into his creases, smelling like earth after a fresh rain. A week later, he came home with a belly covered with bright orange stickers. A week after that, he came home with a beautiful Mother’s Day gift. His carers had helped him scoop in the dirt, plant the seeds, watch them grow, and then decorate the pot. They had even printed out a special English poem, as I don’t speak Dutch.

On Mother’s Day itself, Hayden took me out to brunch at the one place in Brussels (APDM) that makes American-style pancakes, and then Adrian watched over Hayden while I went to the movies by myself.

I am also a much worse mother than I had intended. I give him snacks to keep him occupied, put on the television when I want a break, sneak looks at my iPhone when I’m reading him the same book for the forth time, and I never trim his fingernails. I have learnt a lot of compassion for other parents, and a great deal of respect for the people that work at a crèche.

Overall, I feel so very lucky and thankful to be Hayden’s mum. He and I are really developing a special bond. I love the way that he pats the ground next to him when he wants me to sit with him, the way that a cuddle and a kiss can heal most woes, and that I get to watch and help him learn more about the world each day.

This week I was very excited to see the publication of my first paper as last author. I smiled when I saw the little envelope next to my name, signifying that I was person designated as the author to whom correspondence should be addressed. This was the first time in which I have acted as team leader, bringing all the other authors together to write a manuscript that was acceptable to myself, my pharma company, and the two rigorous peer reviewers. The study was initiated in 2010, so it feels great to see it now formally published and part of the scientific body of knowledge on epidemiology and health economics.

Mother of the Bride is Adrienne Sallay’s second novel.

The protagonist, Francis Mainwaring, is a librarian in Acquisitions at the State Library of New South Wales. Her “absolute obsession” is women’s unpublished writings: “Letters, journals, recipe books, shopping lists, notes to children on scraps of paper, love letters to beloveds, hate letters to mothers… how many unread, unsung words have been written with such excitement, desperation, fatigue, passion.”

The reader gets a glimpse into these lives from the excerpts that the author weaves into the story. Sometimes these extracts are from well-known figures, like botanical illustrator Ellis Rowan, and some are treasured family recipes scribbled on the back of an envelope.

Francis struggles with smartphones, underwire bras, her daughters’ vegetarianism, and her distant husband Phil. Despite working full-time, she still cooks porridge for Phil every morning, makes him sandwiches for work, and keeps his dinner warm in the oven when he comes home late. When her happy-go-lucky daughter Angie announces her engagement to Chen, she wonders to herself if Chen sees his bride simply as “a woman who will cook and clean for free, produce babies for him and bring them up to look after him in his old age.”

The story follows the preparations and aftermath of her daughter’s wedding, as Francis looks to the future and asks herself “do I want my life to be different?” How will she define herself when her daughters have left home and her husband always seems to be somewhere else? Mother of the Bride celebrates friendship, examines the meaning of family, and explores the quest for the perfect dress.

The tale is set against an authentic suburban Australian backdrop. If there’s not a total fire ban due to the scorching temperatures, the family may light up a barbeque on the weekend, followed by scones, ice-cream cake, or pineapple upside-down cake. Holidays are often spent at the beach, surrounded by magpies and frangipanis during the day, and underneath the Southern Cross at night.

This novel gave me a glimpse into the struggles of previous generations of Australian women. The excerpts of their writings emphasised their great struggles and minimal acknowledgement, while the narrative itself underlined the distinct gender roles that are still apparent in modern Australian society. I would recommend this book to anyone who was looking for a light-hearted yet insightful account of the lives hidden inside those Californian bungalows of Sydney’s suburbs.

Available in paperback from Ace press and Australian bookshops, and Amazon kindle worldwide.