Hayden continues to show more and more interest in his surroundings, and actively engages anyone who holds him. This means that he is becoming worse at drinking milk. He will now only breastfeed when really sleepy, and even when bottle-feeding he wants to stop often and look around and chat. This isn’t too bad, as pumping is going well, and I really enjoy nursing him at night, especially during the week when we’ve been apart all day. Adrian continues his marvelous job of taking care of Hayden during the week. I can see how much Hayden adores his daddy – his face lights up with joy whenever Adrian walks into the room.

Hayden has had several coughs and colds, two 24 hour fevers, and a rather persistent case of ringworm, but luckily nothing too serious yet. Though his constant colds means that Adrian had been constantly sick for about six months, which has been an additional source of exhaustion for him.

At the creche they have started trying to feed Hayden some purées. He likes potatoes and pumpkin. One day he came home completely covered in orange stains, and there was a small note in his diary – “doesn’t like carrots”. We are trying baby-led weaning at home, but at the moment he likes to just mash the vegetables into the table rather than eating them. He is showing indications of being left-handed, but his motor skills are so poor it’s hard to know for sure. My favourite part of the day is when we all sit down to dinner together, and Hayden sits in his highchair with us and tells us all about his day in enthusiastic babbles and expansive hand-waving gestures.

After dinner we have a short play together until he is tuckered out and falls asleep. He still wakes up hungry several times a night, so now that he is six months we will try some “Good Night formula” with extra cereals to see if that will fill his hungry belly overnight. Still, there is something quietly magical about that middle-of-the-night feed. Nursing him in the dark, with his little hand curled around my thumb, seeing him look so peaceful and cute, especially when his head lolls back once he has finished eating, well, I can’t help but feel anything but so lucky to be his mummy.

He can now roll over and will do so if left for a few minutes on his back. He can’t yet figure out how to get from belly-to-back, though. He still prefers standing, and entertains himself bouncing in his rainforest bounceroo – his favourite toy is the very noisy gecko spinner filled with tiny balls.

And because I am a hypocrite, here is some video snippets from his first half-year on Planet Earth.

On 30 May 2011, Adrian’s brother Russell had an accident and passed away on the first day of his holiday in North America. Such a shock, a such great loss, such a gap left in the world by this energetic and generous man. We last saw Russell in 2009 when he joined us for a trip through the UK.

On 30 July 2011, baby Hayden was born. The first four months were tough, but now he has matured into a delightful little guy. He is full of smiles and always talking, so snugly and cute. I have watched Adrian become a great daddy, and I am at my happiest when the whole family is together.

Adrian and I also celebrated publications, promotions, grants, bonuses, and awards, travelled to Cyprus and Malta for our babymoon, and showed baby Hayden the countries of Norway, the Netherlands, England, Australia, Singapore and Indonesia.

The events of last year remind me to treasure every moment that I have with my family. After so many years of effort and struggle – finishing a PhD, completing a post-doc, moving to a new country, purchasing an apartment, acquiring a MPH, attaining a permanent position, and achieving a successful pregnancy, I think it is time to slow down. 2012 will be a year of resting on my laurels.

There is a “front door rule” that means that the position of the front door determines whether a house is classified as being in Belgium or the Netherlands. The nationality of the home is also indicated by a flag next to the house number. We visited the house in which the border goes straight through the middle of the door, and thus has two addresses (and two doorbells):

Loveren 2
2387 Baarle-Hertog
Belgium

and

Loveren 19
5111 Baarle-Nassau
The Netherlands

There was even a divisive border across my lunch, separating the savoury cheese and potato pancake from the sweet cherry crepe. I ate each in isolation and they were delicious.

Plus, JT hand-delivered to us a delicious Black & White cookie, all the way from New York City. Hayden is still too little, so I ate it for him.

He is very sociable, and will most often burst into an enormous grin when he sees someone smiling at him. He was a big hit at Santosa Island and during immigration lines, with many Indonesians and Singaporeans asking to hold him and take his photo. One girl on the Tiger Tower simply held out her hands and tried to take him without even asking.

He is also very verbal, talking constantly in loud vowels, especially if other people are also talking. He loves being sung to, and being read to. My mother sent over some of my favourite books, and we are currently reading The House at Pooh Corner together.

His eyes are really turning from grey to brown. I think he will have the same colour eyes and Adrian and myself. I think I have some recessive blue eye alleles in me that I might have passed on, but it looks the brown eye alleles will dominate in him.

He is not yet rolling over or sitting up unassisted. He seems like a very uncoordinated baby for his age. He is still not that interested in eating food when we give him something to munch on. He gets a small cold every couple of weeks, but so far his health has been excellent, especially considering all the people to which he is exposed.

He is still waking up at least once during the night, but considering all the time zones he’s been through, I’m a little forgiving. For the past two nights he’s slept seven hours in a row, which has been wonderful. He still happily switches between formula, expressed milk, and breastfeeding. He loves his dummy.

Adrian continues to be his primary carer. Washing him, preparing his bottles, taking him to creche, picking him up from creche, soothing him, changing him, singing to him, rocking him in his bassinette with his foot as he works on his laptop. They have such a strong bond, and I love the way Hayden watches Adrian as he moves around the room. It is so fun co-parenting with Adrian and I really enjoying the fact that he knows Hayden as well as I do (or better).

Hayden has really blossomed from a screaming machine into a delightful baby boy. He is a pleasure to be with, and every day I look forward to the time in the evening when the whole family is reunited.

When it was our time to ride the elephants, Hayden had fallen fast asleep. I think he liked the gentle bumping along the jungle paths while snuggled up against Adrian’s chest. I was told that my elephant was extra tall because his mother was Sumatran while his father was from Thailand. The two elephant handlers were really kind to us, taking a lot of extra time to line up the two animals, and then even hopping off to take some great shots. I was really impressed with their consideration and patience.

We also met a yellow python – Hayden’s second snake experience – though we didn’t let it get too close to him, as those strong muscles aren’t just for show. Hayden also slept through this encounter.

In the afternoon, Milly from the elephant park visited the hotel. I watched her give short rides to all the kids, and took photos for many families as they made a short circuit around the grass. Once the queue had vanished, the handler let me meet Milly and feed her tiny Indonesian bananas. She was very patient, stretching out her mottled pink and grey trunk and waiting for me to place the fruit in her finger-like projection. She never grabbed the banana from my hand, though she did snortle and sniff at me thoroughly after each one to see if any more were waiting for her. After stroking her hairy trunk I said good-bye and thanked her for being such a gentle and delightful creature.

Yesterday we took a boat trip through the mangroves. Sadly, this area appears very over-fished and over-hunted, as we did not spot so much as a snake or a kingfisher during our hour-long exploration. Still, it was very relaxing to drift underneath the green canopy and feel the warm air swirling though the swamps.

Hayden enjoyed his morning tea of warm drink as we sailed along, while the rest of us had to wait until we returned to shore. We are all feeling very relaxed, and I am really enjoying this quiet time with my two little guys. It is wonderful to be able to spend whole days together as a family, with very little on the agenda except exploring this tiny piece of Indonesia.

Every morning, mum and I would take a walk to the beach, strolling along the boulevard and watching the fierce waves crash against the shore. With oil tankers dotted across the horizon, the surf lifesavers would scout the tides every morning to determine the safest place to swim – “always swim between the flags” was one of the anthems of my childhood.

We were also able to spend some time with my Nana, Hayden’s great-grandmother. Hayden loved to watch her clap her hands, and I was able to hear her stories of raising five children while working as a journalist. With a single wriggling baby in my hands, I have no idea how she managed to balance it all, especially back in the day of cloth nappies and no dishwashers. It was so fantastic to be able to spend a week relaxing with mum Nana and Hayden playing together, and to show them our adorable baby boy.

Though we did venture out to the winter markets with Hayden bundled up deep inside Adrian’s jacket. It feels like winter has arrived, with a cold wind gusting through the bare trees and now with all the buildings lit up for the holidays.

Thank-you to Dr J and Dr L for their fun and beautiful baby gifts that Hayden was able to model today. He might not be rolling over yet, but I bet other babies don’t know the building blocks of DNA.

Adrian stood up and presented the figures to what was to become his first research paper, accepted and published in the best immunology journal in the world, Nature Immunology. I was impressed and intimidated. Even as a PhD student, Adrian seemed to be in his element. He would join the lab head and senior post-docs in asking probing questions during lab meetings, and would deliver scathing analyses of other papers during journal club. Even back then, he was an excellent mentor, improving thesis drafts or demonstrating the scientific method to undergraduate students, completing a Graduate Certificate in Higher Education to improve his teaching skills.

It was only later when I came to know him on a personal level that I learned how hard he had worked to reach this level. He had sacrificed every summer in his undergraduate degree to work in a research laboratory, running experiments and producing figures that would be published in peer reviewed publications even before he finished his Bachelor of Science.

He chose his PhD lab very carefully, interviewing at numerous institutions before finally finding one with the best opportunities. Here he worked every weekend, every night, designing experiments, talking to other scientists, and thoroughly reading the literature until he could keep up with the experts in his field. He made some great friends during that time, as he was always willing to talk over scientific or personal problems over a beer or two.

He knew that an excellent publication record was essential to succeed in academia. Every experiment was a figure in a paper. If he had to wait for some lab work to come to completion, he spent his time writing reviews and book chapters. At the beginning, Adrian never turned down an invitation to write a review – even if it was only a foreign print-only publication, he would still write a new and insightful manuscript on one of his areas of interest.

He continued in this manner through his post-doc, which meant that he was impressive enough to be awarded a start-up grant to create his own lab here in Belgium. I remember the first day he walked into the building – just an empty room – no furniture, no equipment, no staff. For the past three years he has worked tirelessly. He applied for every grant for which he was eligible, meanwhile recruiting staff and students, and setting up national and international collaborations. Knowing how stressful it can be to complete a PhD, he ensures that his students have every opportunity for success and fulfillment. They all have the opportunity to write their own reviews, and to have their own primary research paper as soon as possible. Plus he bought them a Nespresso coffee machine.

Today he received a letter stating that his latest research has again been accepted into Nature Immunology. However this time, nine years later, he is now the senior author on the paper. He has now been recognised as a leader of a world-class research laboratory conducting novel and cutting-edge investigations. I am so proud of him. Congratulations, Adrian.

4:49 AM: Hayden wakes up after 6 hours 35 minutes. I feed him and change him.
5:24 AM: Hayden goes back to sleep in the nursery without a fuss, I also go immediately back to sleep in our bedroom.
7:00 AM: Up time. Adrian fetches Hayden from the nursery and brings him into bed. We play and talk, and Hayden joins in with loud cooing “aaaah ooooh yoooo uuuuub”. He is becoming a lot more aware an interactive. It is fun. Pepper and Mint join us too, and I am happy that we have the whole family on the bed together.
7:30 AM: I pick out his outfit for the day and get him dressed and feed him again. I fill out his sleeping and eating notebook for the creche while Adrian gets himself ready and packs Hayden’s milk.
7:45 AM: I say goodbye to my two little guys and get ready for work.

8:00 AM: On the metro, I read through my work schedule on my Blackberry and work my way through the emails from have arrived from the US overnight.
8:30 AM: I boot up my laptop, and file all my emails out of my Inbox and into my @action folder, into subfolders. A subfolder that starts with 0 has to be done today, a subfolder that starts with 1 has to be addressed this week, etc.
9:00 AM: No meetings this morning, so I have time to get stuck into my projects. I compile a list of future data sources for 2012, give my comments on a systematic literature review protocol, read through the epidemiology section of a disease area review, and create a slide-deck that will be presented next week to the global team. Adrian sends me a photo of Hayden asleep in his pram.

10:30 AM: Pump.
10:45 AM: The publication officer pops into my cubicle to ask me about my plans for congresses and publications next year. I would like to submit an abstract for a congress with a deadline of mid-January, but it has to go through three review and approval cycles before it can be submitted, and I don’t think we’ll have time to do that as most people are taking of most of December for vacations (myself included).
11:15 AM: One of the statistical programmers sends me an instant message. The statistical analysis plan calls for a statistical test that seems inappropriate for that particular data set. We discuss various options and decide on a better alternative. I update the statistical analysis plan to reflect that change in design.
12:00 noon: Lunch time! Normally I go for the salad bar, but I treat myself on Fridays with the fish and vegetables. Today we have sole with mushrooms, Brussels sprouts, and ratatouille. The chef corrects my pronunciation of “ratatouille”, but I can’t hear the difference between the word I says and the way that he says it. I am sure that he can, though. I talk with my colleagues about their upcoming travel plans to the Ukraine, Mexico, and Romania.

12:30 PM: The head of the department drops by my cubicle to see how I am adjusting to being back to work, and reminds me that out of all my projects that I have to manage, Hayden is my most important. He talks about his children and about how his youngest has just learnt to walk.
1:00 PM: I meet with my team members and we do a practise run-through of our presentation to the global team for Monday.
1:30 PM: Pump
1:45 PM: I reply to emails, then complete an online training course to certify that I am compliant with the new Standard Operating Procedures that have just been implemented.
3:00 PM: 9:00 AM on the West Coast. The emails start flooding in from the US office. I have a teleconference with a US vendor to check on the progress of a new database that they are delivering to us.
4:00 PM: I have a teleconference with the UK office to discuss how I can support upcoming products in the pipeline and in early clinical trials.
4:30 PM: Pump
4:45 PM: Print out materials needed for Monday morning, make sure I have completed all my necessary tasks for the week. Water my plant.
5:00 PM: I leave on the dot so that I can get to Leuven by 6. I reply to more emails on my phone on the metro and then on the train.
6:00 PM: Arrive at the restaurant in Leuven for a friend’s birthday, joined by Adrian, Hayden, and a few other friends too. They all enjoy a drink, I have a Croque Hawaienne for dinner – a toasted ham cheese and pineapple sandwich, in which the pineapple must go on top of the bread instead of inside, for cultural reasons I do not understand. I feed Hayden and play with him, giving him lots of kisses until everyone else wants to hold him too.

8:00 PM: Hayden is sleepy so we head home. In his pram, Hayden plays with his kitten mittens, looking a little confused as to how his hands have turned into animals again. On the train we sit opposite a guy who is trying to study, but Hayden wants to talk to him and babbles loudly at him the whole time. Hayden is also really stinky.
9:00 PM: We arrive home, I feed Hayden and put him to sleep in his cot in the nursery. Adrian gives treats to Pepper and Mint.
9:30 PM: We put all his bottles and pump parts into the dishwasher, tidy up the house, and go to bed.
11:00 PM: I feed and change Hayden and pop him back into his sleep sack and back into his crib. He quietly sleeps until 6:00 AM the next day.

On the weekends he will take care of Hayden while I go off to parties, and during the week he is responsible for dropping off and picking him up at crèche. Adrian already had a very long commute – walk to the train station, catch a train, then catch a bus. Now he must also trek all the way up the hill to the crèche before walking all the way back down to his lab. This means that it can take up to two hours from leaving the house to reaching his office door. He never complains about this, just commenting that it is extra quality time that he and Hayden can spend together.

Whenever I am away from the two of them, Adrian constantly sends me photos, sound files, and other updates. So I can still hear Hayden babble along and see his sleepy face, even if I’m zooming away on the metro.

I love watching the two of them together, the way that Hayden grins at Adrian during the silly games that they play. These two guys make me smile so much, and I am continuously grateful for all the numerous daily efforts that Adrian makes to make sure that his family of rascals is as happy as can be.

The next morning I used a digital test and it soon came up with one fantastic word – “Pregnant”. We still had a long way to go – first beta, second beta, heartbeat, nuchal translucency, anomaly scan – but amazingly, thankfully, wonderfully, we passed all of these hurdles so that that tiny implanted blastocyst became the beautiful baby boy that we now have in our lives.

The chair vibrates and bounces with his movement, and the animals twirl, light up, and play music whenever he moves the toucan or the monkey. The “baby-activated” setting has been great for him to learn that he can control his environment with his hands, and he seems so delighted when he can manage to get the waterfall going and sees the animals swinging back at forth. One can also switch off the music and just have rainforest sounds, if two dozen renditions of “pop goes the weasel” is getting a bit much.

Now that the cool winds of autumn have arrived, our friend Sylvie bought Hayden some snug accessories from Quebec. However, he seems a little bewildered at the fact that his hands have suddenly turned into cats*. When I put on his hand warmers, he will raise them up and wave them in front of his face, studying them intently. I like to think that he is putting on a little puppet show for himself, with an imaginary conversation between the two blue twins.

* I have since been informed that the species might actually be Vulpes vulpes and not Felis catus, and that the gloves do not contain a separate thumb compartment. As such the title should be amended to Fido Sombrero and Fox Hand Socks.