Five things I learned from Adrienne Sallay

1. It’s never too late to reach for the stars

Adrienne had always wanted to write a novel, so once her sons were grown, she enrolled as a mature aged student in the Creative Writing department at Macquarie University. After many years of hard work and determination, she graduated in 2008 with the final draft of a novel, and a thesis exploring Australian women’s writing of the 1970s, especially the counter culture, indigenous, migrant and lesbian communities.

2. Obstacles can lead to even greater accomplishments

After finishing her first complete novel in 2008, Loaded Hearts, she searched for a publisher. During this search, she found that there were many other up and coming Australian writers who were also struggling to find support. She established Ace Press, an Australian boutique publishing company, and not only published her own books (Loaded Hearts, Mother of the Bride, and Cody’s Cubby) but also allowed many other aspiring authors to have their works published for the first time too (Stripes and His Night Alone at Preschool, Lollipop Lil, Silver Plains, and The Amazing Adventures of Claude and Albert).

3. Wear your heart on your sleeve

When Adrienne was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer in 2010, she announced it to the world, and asked all her friends to join her in an awareness campaign. She shared photos of her chemotherapy sessions and was the guest of honour during a huge Aid for Ade fund-raising event. Through her advocacy and passion, Ovarian Cancer Australia has increased funding, and many more women are aware of the symptoms of ovarian cancer (abdominal / pelvic pain, increased abdominal size, persistent abdominal bloating, need to urinate often / urgently, feeling full after eating a small amount). She was always reaching out to her friends and family for support, and was brave enough to share her journey with us all.

4. Take the time to listen and respond

Adrienne was one of the main commenters on my blog, sharing online support and encouragement for over nine years. Even though we lived so far apart, I loved sharing my life with her, and I was so touched that she took such great interest in my every day activities. She was also very active on Facebook, often sending her friends love and encouragement whenever they announced an accomplishment and a challenge. Even in her darkest days, she always took the time to listen to her friends and cheer them on.

5. There is light even in the darkness

Until the end, Adrienne was always looking for the silver lining. Faced with a daunting diagnosis, she would focus on morning swims, books, and loved ones. She filled her hospital room with flowers and photos, and brought in treats for her chemo buddies and nurses. Love was her candle in the dark.

When I look back at all her comments and photos, my heart is filled with sadness and loss. It is impossible to comprehend that she is truly gone, that the world will never again hear her laugh or see her smile. For my whole life, she was there to cheer me on and to inspire me. We are richer from knowing her, and I will do my best to carry her stories and her lessons forward with me.